


It Comes and Goes In Waves

by sweeterthankarma



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Set in the beginning of season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 16:57:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15029066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweeterthankarma/pseuds/sweeterthankarma
Summary: “How are you?” she asks, voice low, and she wonders why she even bothers asking when she can feel exactly how he is.“Awake,” Will sighs, twisting towards her. “I probably need another shot.”She curls her fingers around his, moving close, and presses a kiss against his cheek. “In a minute,” she says, slipping against his side.“Riley,” he starts, warning, but then trails off when her lips skim across his cheek, his jaw, on the underside of his stubble. She can feel him relaxing, even just a little, and that’s all she wants.





	It Comes and Goes In Waves

**Author's Note:**

> As painful as it was, the beginning of season two when Will was using drugs to escape Whispers gave us some gorgeously angsty Blueski moments. I wanted to elaborate on those scenes and fill in some blanks, simply because I've been desperately missing Sense8 since the finale. Title comes from the song "Waves" by Dean Lewis.

He’s in between consciousness, shaky and damp with sweat, and she hates this part. The last thing Riley wants to do is pick up the needle, measure the medicine — poison is a more fitting word— and wrap the tourniquet around Will’s arm, liquid lulling him back to sleep, but there’s no other choice. Even if there was, he wouldn’t let her do anything else. He wants to protect them, to buy them time, and she admires him for that, even if she loathes the circumstances. 

In the brief moments their thoughts are shared Riley feels it all; his fear, his love, his selflessness, his pain. It’s so strong, so fierce that she’s almost thankful that the drugs weaken their connection, if not diminish it; it burns like alcohol on an open wound, the truth of the matter and the fear of their fate, and she wants nothing more than to let Will be free. But she can’t, at least not until they find another alternative.

She’s reading a book as he rests, eyes scanning the words but not really processing them. Her mind is full yet vacant, brimming with worry and sadness and anxiety, but without Will existing somewhere in there, in a way that’s still fresh and exciting and kind of terrifying, she feels off. She’s used to him in the corners of her mind _(_ _literally_ _),_ musings on police cases or tastes of foods she’s never tried or thoughts of her, all new and creating a collection with her own daily knowledge. The solitude is strange and feels raw, wrong, even with six other lives jostling around inside of her all the same. She needs to be intertwined with all of them and their lives, can’t imagine losing the magic of it all, but she needs Will on a fateful, crucial, absolutely necessary kind of level. He’s beside her, but still feels miles away compared to what they’re used to. 

She shuts her book as Will murmurs her name, hand slowly moving across the bedsheets to find her wrist, grasping it gently. He tilts his head to the side, almost drowsily, but she knows he’s been in the worst kind of unconsciousness, nothing close to sleep. Kala said there was a difference and it’s obvious; the way he snores against her shoulder in moments of calm relief, not thinking about Whispers, is different than the labored breaths that come now, right after minutes of silence. 

Riley frowns, looking down at him, and runs a hand along his cheek. 

    “How are you?” she asks, voice low, and she wonders why she even bothers asking when she can feel exactly how he is. As soon as his eyes open he’s restless, paranoid, afraid to say or do anything that could give them away. She understands his fear, but it hurts just the same. They’re finally together, physically rather than only in spirit, and the relief and joy they should be feeling because of it, especially now that she’s safe and out of BPO’s wrath, is replaced by a new kind of terror. She’s done beating herself up over the way life turns out, how tragedy seemed to follow her — she’s had more than her fair share of second chances, and she’s putting her mental energy into that fact, rather than how “hexed” she is. She’s trying, at least. 

    “Awake,” Will sighs, twisting towards her. “I probably need another shot.”

She curls her fingers around his, moving close, and presses a kiss against his cheek. “In a minute,” she says, slipping against his side. 

    “Riley,” he starts, warning, but then trails off when her lips skim across his cheek, his jaw, on the underside of his stubble. She can feel him relaxing, even just a little, and that’s all she wants. His free hand comes up to her back, touches her light through her t shirt, and she focuses on the feeling of him and nothing else. She loses herself in him, their physicality, the gentle passion and familiarity, yet newness, of it all. She thinks how lucky they are to be here at all, together, alive, safe , at least for now; they can’t predict the future so she’s  _ trying trying trying  _ to not get lost in the worry, but it’s so hard. 

But then his hand slips around her waist, tighter, and it’s a little easier to not worry.

Their lips meet, slow at first, and she can tell he’s still hesitating, restricting himself until he pushes closer and then he  _ isn’t.  _ She smiles against his mouth, knowing even if his senses are dulled he can feel this, can feel her, can know how much she needs him, how much they all need him. 

His kisses come slow, and still, she can almost feel him rushing, as if he’s running out of time. (Maybe he is.) She can’t describe it, not in a way that would give justice to how it really feels to have his warm lips on her own, combined with the rush of desperation she can feel rushing through his veins, mirrored in her own body. She can feel his insistence, taking his time just so that he can get all the emotion across that he needs to, apologies and love and gratitude for doing what he needs her to do even if she hates doing it. She feels it, wants him to know that she feels it, and the only way that seems to suffice is to cling to his side, to kiss him back just as deeply. Their connection isn’t the same as it was before he locked eyes with Whispers, it’s all a bit faded and distant from the drugs, but she’s still breathless in a kind of way she’s never experienced with anyone else before, just from this contact. 

She doesn’t want to pull away. Not now, not ever, if she’s being honest with herself— and with Will; he smirks against her lips as soon as she thinks that, and he presses another kiss to the corner of her mouth. 

He watches as Riley fills the needle, and she doesn’t have to say anything for him to know how she feels, how she regrets the injection before it even happens. In her mind she hears his promise that they’ll find another option soon, that right now this is for the best, and she tries to believe him. 

Minutes after his eyes close, Will snores quietly against the pillow. Riley prays he’s sleeping this time, but every now and then he’ll twitch, spontaneously and almost violently, and it cuts into her heart a little deeper. She sits as close as she can while giving him comfortable space, and she keeps her hand wrapped tight around his, stroking his palm with her thumb.

Later, she’ll double check that the doors are locked, even though neither of them have gone beyond the bathroom in days. She’ll duct tape the blinds down for the third time this week. She’ll pick her book up again, attempt to read, and she’ll greet Will with a sad smile when he comes to. Reluctantly, she’ll find a new bandage, and watch him drift away once more, and she’ll count down the hours until she has to do it again, dreaming of another way in the meantime.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi and join me in crying over these two daily on my Tumblr under the same username. I'm always reblogging a spam of gifsets, and also always taking Sense8 fic requests/prompts for any characters/relationships!


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